The Beginning of Awakening: What Happens After the First Glimpse

Everyone talks about the moment you “wake up”. But no one tells you what comes after.

That moment will stay with you forever.

Perhaps it came during meditation. Or walking in nature. Or in the midst of profound loss. Or sitting across from a teacher whose words cracked open your reality.

In an instant, something shifted. The veil thinned. You glimpsed beyond the construct of your familiar self. Beyond the story. Beyond the conditioning.

You woke up.

Suddenly, everything made sense. The mental chatter quieted. Your perception expanded. You felt a profound connection to everything. A deep knowing that transcended your ordinary understanding.

And in that extraordinary clarity, you may have thought: This changes everything. I’ve arrived. I’ve finally broken free.

But then… life continued. Days passed. Weeks. Months.

And something confusing happened. The pristine clarity began to blur. Old thought patterns re-emerged. Familiar emotional triggers returned. The separate sense of self you thought you’d seen through began to re-solidify.

You found yourself wondering: Did I imagine it? Was it real? Did I do something wrong? Why didn’t it last?

This is the rarely discussed territory that follows a spiritual breakthrough—the uncharted landscape between glimpse and embodiment, between insight and integration.

What many don’t realize is that this journey involves two distinct but complementary types of awakening: spiritual awakening (the direct recognition of your true nature) and consciousness awakening (seeing clearly what was previously unconscious).

This newsletter is your roadmap for what comes after that first glimpse—because contrary to what many believe, awakening isn’t the destination.

It’s just the beginning.

The Post-Awakening Terrain: What Nobody Tells You About What Comes Next

One of the most pervasive misconceptions about spiritual awakening is that it’s a single, permanent event. One moment you’re asleep, the next you’re awake—forever transformed.

The reality is far more nuanced.

What many teachings don’t emphasize is that spiritual awakening—that direct recognition of your true nature as pure consciousness—is often just the first step. What typically follows is a series of consciousness awakenings that reveal the layers of conditioning, patterns, and beliefs that still govern your daily experience.

Take James, a client who came to me confused and discouraged six months after a profound spiritual awakening experience during a silent retreat.

«I felt like I had finally seen the truth,» he told me. «Everything was clear. I felt connected to everything. I thought I was done with suffering.»

But back in his daily life, old patterns gradually reasserted themselves. The mental chatter returned. The emotional reactivity re-emerged. The separate sense of self he thought he’d transcended began to solidify again.

«I feel like I’ve failed,» he confessed. «Like I’ve lost what I found.»

James had fallen into what I call the «permanence trap»—the belief that spiritual awakening instantly dissolves all conditioning. What he didn’t understand—what many don’t understand—is that glimpsing your true nature doesn’t automatically dissolve years of psychological and neurological patterning.

Spiritual awakening opens the door to transformation, but walking through that door requires a complementary process: consciousness awakening—the gradual recognition and integration of what was previously unconscious.

This is why understanding the distinction between these two types of awakening is crucial:

• Spiritual awakening reveals what you fundamentally are—the awareness in which all experiences occur.

• Consciousness awakening reveals the conditioning and patterns that have shaped your human experience.

Many spiritual teachings focus intensely on reaching the breakthrough moment but offer little guidance for the consciousness work that must follow. Perhaps because this integration is messy. It’s not linear. It’s rarely quoted on social media, and it doesn’t sell retreats.

But here’s the truth: this integration phase isn’t a problem to solve or a sign of failure. It’s a natural and necessary part of the awakening process itself.

The 5 Phases of Integration: Your Roadmap Beyond the First Glimpse

These five phases typically follow a significant spiritual awakening experience. They represent the dance between spiritual recognition and consciousness awakening—between seeing your true nature and integrating that recognition into your lived experience.

Phase 1: The Afterglow and Its Fading

When the high wears off

In the days or weeks following a spiritual awakening, you may feel extraordinary clarity, connection, and peace. Colors seem brighter. Relationships feel more authentic. Problems that once consumed you seem distant or even nonexistent.

But inevitably, this intensity begins to fade. The heightened state of consciousness that felt so permanent starts to fluctuate. The mental chatter gradually returns. The emotional reactivity slowly re-emerges.

This fading isn’t a sign that your awakening wasn’t real. The spiritual recognition you experienced was genuine—but it’s now calling for consciousness work to integrate it.

Practice for this phase: Journal about your awakening experience in detail while it’s still fresh. What did you recognize about your true nature? What felt different? This record will anchor your spiritual insight as you begin the consciousness work.

Phase 2: The Return of the Conditioned Mind

Old patterns with new awareness

This phase can be particularly disorienting. You’ve recognized your true nature beyond conditioning, yet here it is again—the familiar thought patterns, emotional reactions, and self-centered concerns.

What’s happening is that your spiritual awakening didn’t erase your conditioning—it just allowed you to see it more clearly. This is where consciousness awakening begins in earnest. You start to recognize the foundations of your ego, the patterns formed from conditioning and past experiences.

What’s different now is that you can observe these patterns with the awareness you recognized during your spiritual awakening. You may notice a subtle separation between the witness of your thoughts and the thoughts themselves—a space of clarity that the ego instinctively tries to reclaim.

After the glimpse, the ego reasserts itself—not because the awakening wasn’t real, but because your brain’s default networks and old identity patterns are still intact.

Practice for this phase: When old patterns arise, practice this dual recognition: «Here’s the conditioned mind doing what it does» (consciousness awakening) and «I am the awareness in which these patterns appear» (spiritual awakening). This combines both types of awakening in a practical way.

Phase 3: The Integration Struggle

Bridging spiritual insight and everyday consciousness

This phase involves actively bringing your spiritual recognition into your daily consciousness. It’s often characterized by a frustrating gap between what you know to be true (your essential nature) and how you actually live (your conditioned patterns).

This is where understanding the distinction between the two awakenings becomes most valuable. You’re not trying to «fix» your true nature—it was never broken. You’re working with the conditioned aspects of your human experience that still operate unconsciously.

Integration requires both remembering your spiritual nature and doing the consciousness work of bringing unconscious patterns into awareness.

Practice for this phase: Choose one area of your life where integration is needed. Throughout the day, alternate between spiritual recognition («I am the awareness in which this experience occurs») and consciousness inquiry («What patterns or beliefs am I operating from in this situation?»).

Phase 4: Community Reconfiguration

When your awakening disrupts your relationships

As you integrate both spiritual and consciousness awakenings, you may notice shifts in your relationships. Some friendships may feel suddenly shallow or draining. Family dynamics might become more challenging as you outgrow old roles. You might feel misunderstood by people who previously seemed to «get you.»

At the same time, you may feel drawn to new communities, teachers, or friends who understand both aspects of awakening—those who can support both your spiritual recognition and your consciousness work.

Practice for this phase: When communicating your new understandings, notice whether you’re talking about spiritual awakening (your essential nature) or consciousness awakening (patterns and conditioning). Being clear about which level you’re addressing helps others understand your experience.

Phase 5: Embodied Wisdom

When both awakening processes inform your natural way of being

In this phase, your spiritual recognition and consciousness work begin to inform each other seamlessly. You move fluidly between recognizing your true nature as awareness and working with the patterns that arise within that awareness.

This doesn’t mean perfection or permanent bliss. It means that you no longer mistake one type of awakening for the other. You understand that spiritual awakening reveals what you already are, while consciousness awakening is an ongoing process of seeing and integrating what was unconscious.

This phase often coincides with new, often subtler recognitions of both types—deeper spiritual insights and more subtle layers of conditioning coming to light.

Practice for this phase: Notice where you still confuse these two types of awakening. Are you trying to «improve» your essential nature (impossible, since it’s already complete)? Or are you spiritually bypassing aspects of your conditioning that need consciousness work? Clarity about which level you’re addressing at any moment becomes natural and effortless.

The Journey After Breakthrough: A Dance of Two Awakenings

The path following a spiritual breakthrough may not be what you expected. It may include confusion, regression, frustration, and doubt. These aren’t signs of failure—they’re natural stations on the journey of integration.

What I’ve come to understand through working with hundreds of seekers is that the most complete transformation comes when both types of awakening inform and deepen each other:

• Spiritual awakening without consciousness awakening often leads to spiritual bypassing—using spiritual insights to avoid dealing with psychological reality.

• Consciousness awakening without spiritual awakening can lead to endless self-improvement that never addresses the fundamental question of who you truly are.

The most powerful approach honors both: recognizing your true nature as awareness while also bringing clarity to your conditioned patterns.

In future newsletters, we’ll explore this distinction more deeply, along with practical approaches for facilitating both types of awakening and working with the challenges that arise along the way.

For now, simply knowing that there is a map for this territory can provide reassurance when the path seems unclear.

You haven’t lost your way.

You’re exactly where you need to be on the endless passage of awakening.

The journey hasn’t ended.

In many ways, it’s just beginning.

And you’re not walking it alone.

—

From The Beginning,

Endless Passage